


Stay for a little while

by MarieITNO98



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: BPD, Chronic Emptiness, Friendship, M/M, Understanding, cold nights, open air cinema
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:40:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21572377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieITNO98/pseuds/MarieITNO98
Summary: Nico is once again reminded that he is no longer alone.
Relationships: Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	Stay for a little while

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PoisonApple83](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonApple83/gifts).



> I missed Nico so much that I wanted to write another little fic after months of silence.  
> Chronic emptiness is the BPD symptom I personally struggle with the most and I decided to write about it. 
> 
> I hope you like it. I apologize for typos. Enjoy <3
> 
> Ps: This is a gift for Chiara, who made my time in Rome unforgettable and who has saved my life multiple times. You are amazing! <3

Nico's heart is beating so fast he can feel his puls dully vibrating in his ears.  
Every fiber in his body urges him to lift his hand to cover his eyes so he doesn't have to witness what is happening in front of him.  
He lets out a shaky exhale.  
"Scared yet, Niccolò?"  
Gio is grinning, casting a side glance at him before looking back at the large screen.  
Nico refrains from an answer. He shifts into a more comfortable position and finally turns his head away. The sight is much better than the monster that is currently biting the woman's head off. Marti is not aware of Nico's eyes on him. His are glued to the horror movie, absentmindedly shoving popcorn into his mouth, a few pieces have already fallen onto the striped blanket that is draped around them.  
A sudden gust of wind blows his red curls out of his face and Nico can't stop staring at him. His heart rate hasn't slowed down, for an entirely different reason now.  
Very slowly, he slips his hand under the thick blanket and searches for Martino's hand, intertwining their fingers when he finds it, closing his eyes and taking another deep breath.  
"It's almost over, Ni," Marti whispers into his ear.  
The nickname makes Nico's heart soar, warms him up and makes him forget they are sitting in the courtyard of Il Baretto at 11 pm on a very cold November night to see the last Open-air screening before winter.  
Nico had agreed to come along when Marti asked him even though the movie was absolutely not his favorite genre. Seeing Marti laugh with his friends and being captivated by the movie makes up for the cold and the overpriced drinks.  
Once the monster has been bitten off a few more heads the screen fades to black and judging from the relieved sighs around him he is not the only one who is grateful it's over.  
"Man, that monster was great." Luca exclaims, spreading his arms, "It was much bigger than I thought."  
"It would swallow you in one go." Elia laughs.  
"No, it wouldn't!"  
"It totally would."  
The boys bicker some more while picking up their blankets and popcorn bags.  
The air is filled with chatter and laughter. The fairy lights in the trees give the courtyard a welcoming atmosphere, much warmer than during the movie.  
And suddenly Nico feels sadness creeping upon him. In the middle of all those people who are having a great time. Out of nowhere and with a force that presses the air out of his lungs.  
He casts his eyes to the ground, trying to fight off the wave of emptiness that comes crushing over his head, drenching him in despair.  
Sure, the night was great, but what now. What is there to look forward to. What will fill the void in his chest that keeps growing and growing every second, sucking the meaning out of everything that brings him joy.  
Nothing matters anyway.  
So so empty.  
"Hey."  
Marti places a hand on his back. "Everything alright?"  
Nico's body reacts automatically. His lips turn up into a smile and he nods.  
Even though Marti is the only person where he feels he doesn't have to hide all the time the mask that he has worn to perfection takes over sometimes and he hides his real feelings behind a smile.  
He wants to fight against it tonight. He wants to show Marti that he trusts him.  
"Umm, actually no."  
"What's the matter?"  
Marti quickly looks around them and takes his hand when no one is looking. He gently rubs his finger over Nico's knuckles.  
"I just-." Nico slowly shakes his head, his eyes darting everywhere except Marti's face.  
He doesn't want to feel like a burden. Doesn't want to ruin Martino's night out. For a second, he wishes he had continued smiling.  
"I should be happy. But I am not. I'm empty" he takes another shaky breath, gripping Marti's hand tighter. "I don't want to ruin the mood."  
"You're not ruining the mood, Nico." Marti extends his other hand and gently turns Nico's head to look him in the eyes. He is smiling and has the confident look on his face that lets Nico forget his pain for a second and makes him feel safe.  
"You are allowed to feel this way, okay? It might not be a pleasant feeling, but you are not being a burden if that's what you're afraid of. I am with you, every step of the way."  
"Are you guys coming?" Elia waves at them.  
He, Gio and Luca come over, carrying the neatly folded blankets.  
"You okay, Niccolò?" Gio places a hand on his shoulder.  
Nico shrugs. Suddenly too drained to even try to smile. "I'm not feeling well."  
It has happened before. When they all hang out and he loses control over his mind.  
The words come easier each time. He gestures to his head, "Just my mind."  
"Okay. Don't worry about it." He smiles and pats his back. "We don't have to leave right now."  
"I still have some popcorn left. I'm gonna eat that." Luca begins munching on his snack.  
Nico shifts his weight onto his other foot, "Actually, can you...umm. Can you tell me something? A funny memory. Just something. I-" He looks away and bites his lips before continuing, "I don't like my mind right now."  
"Sure!" Marti grabs his own blanket and spreads it out on the floor. "Let's sit down."  
A minute later they are all sitting on the blanket, huddled together under another.  
"I think I'll start by telling you how Marti thought he was the best cook in middle school," Gio says with a grin.  
Since they are almost the last people left Marti, who is sitting behind Nico, wraps an arm around him, pulling him close and resting his chin on his shoulder. "You will like this one," he whispers. "My master chef."  
They sit there until the moon emerges from behind the clouds way past midnight and the waiter asks them to finally go home.  
Nico takes Marti's hand when they're out on the street and the warmth that spreads through his body dries the last drops the wave had left.

**Author's Note:**

> Il Baretto in Rome is one of the best places ever. I highly recommend checking it out :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3  
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
